Exactly like they announced their divorce on a late Friday afternoon, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt bring you “The Pretend Spencer is Hocking a Sex Tape Without Heidi’s Consent Even Though Everyone Knows How These Deals Work By Now” news story everyone saw coming a mile away. After Heidi’s balloon-tits. TMZ reports:
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Heidi & Spencer are Releasing a Sex Tape is a post from: Celebrity Fashion

We were astonished to read it, but Heidi Montag is apparently serious about divorcing Spencer Pratt - and she's already playing the field again ... sort of.

For the first time since the separation rumors started, she took to her Twitter and openly said she's getting divorced, then promptly hit on Justin Bieber.

She may rue the day once his fans get wind of it.

The Hills star wrote: "@justinbieber now that I am getting divorced I think you and I should do a photo shoot together! Cutie ! I'm closer to your age."

Closer than what is not clear. She's 23 and he's 16. That is minimum security prison territory for the 'Tag. Still, who can resist that bowl cut? Yummy ...

MMM: That ice cream isn't the only thing Heidi finds delicious.

In addition to salivating over the Bieb online, Heidi also Tweeted some interesting information pertaining to her upcoming new reality show with Jen Bunney.

Apparently, she and the former Hills co-star will be welcoming a third roommate to their Malibu girls' pad (allegedly owned by Spencer's pal Cougar Zank):

Former Hugh Hefner girlfriend Karissa Shannon!

Yes, one of the Shannon Twins, but apparently not the other. We have no idea why, how she knows Heidi, or whether anyone would watch this crap, but:

"@karissashannon will be moving in my Malibu house this summer and will be filming our new show!" wrote Montag to her 1,063,188 followers today.

Whatever. That's all. Here's Heidi's Justin Bieber Tweet, which she'll probably take down after 'tween girls send her death threats a la kim Kardashian:

NOTE: Follow THG on Twitter and get all the Justin Bieber news without the creepy come-ons. Seriously, Heidi. He doesn't pass the half-your-age-plus-seven test.

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Heidi Montag: Coming On to Justin Bieber, Moving in With Former Hugh Hefner Plaything is a post from: Celebrity Fashion

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Heidi Montag in a Bikini is a post from: Celebrity Fashion

Kelly Osbourne is just teeing off on celebrities this week. Monday, she squared off with Tila Tequila, who she likened to a fart: amusing, but ultimately disgusting.

Her latest target? Heidi Montag.

After seeing what The Hills star did to herself with all that plastic surgery, Kelly decided to throw her two cents in, unsolicited of course, about Heidi's new look.

While Osbourne may be annoying and begging for attention herself by chiming in, she's certainly not wrong when it comes to her assessment of Montag ...

"She was so pretty before. Now she looks like a Barbie doll. I feel sorry for Heidi, she's obviously insecure. It's the surgeon who should be ashamed - he should be struck off for giving her so much work when she clearly didn't need it."

Heidi Montag has a lot of plastic surgery on a routine basis. Kelly Osbourne obviously does not - and says Heidi is the one who's insecure. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

We have to say, the idea that Heidi had countless cosmetic surgeries because she is unhappy may be only half the story. It was also a key career move!

That's according to the surgeon who ransacked Heidi Montag's face. He even admits he could never go through with what Heidi wanted to have done.

Neither could we. How many other 23-year-olds do you know who transform like she has? You couldn't pick old Heidi out of a police lineup at this point.

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Kelly Osbourne: Heidi Montag is Insecure is a post from: Celebrity Fashion