Happy Holidays From The Superficial
“Your children drove me to this.” Roughly 300 AD, it was decided that a sequel to the Old Testament would be shekels in the camels because early Mesopotamia was a lot like modern Hollywood right down to the boy love and rampant golden showering of whores. So a group of writers got together and hashed [...]
Britney Spears to Nicki Minaj: Happy Birthday!!!
“Super Bass” rapper Nicki Minaj marked her 29th year on this planet today. This morning, while well wishes poured in, she responded with a simple message on Twitter: “No wishes. Just thanks. Gratitude. To God be the glory.” Holla. That didn’t stop some of her friends from giving props to the talented, often-pink-haired diva … [...]
Happy Thanksgiving!
While Courtney Stodden‘s thankful for silicone, lax child marriage laws and an absentee father robbing her of the self-esteem she needed to grow up as a well-adjusted adult, all (two) of us at The Superficial are thankful that 90% of you are already out of the office so we can justify cutting the hell out [...]
Happy 25th Birthday, Lindsay Lohan!
The newly-free Lindsay Lohan went out for dinner in Malibu to celebrate her birthday last night. This outing was notable because it marked her first birthday and lawful venture out of the house in some time! Here’s the actress, 25 going on 37 … Passing on any sort of wild party, but still making sure [...]
Happy 21st Birthday, Kristen Stewart!
OMG. It’s Kristen Stewart’s birthday today – her 21st no less! The Los Angeles native racked up an impressive number of film and TV credits before 2008, but it was then that Twilight launched her into mega-stardom. She’s come a long way since those early brooding, awkward days. Okay, those days are still here, but [...]
Happy New Year!
So, one of two things need to happen here: 1. She stays her in there permanently. 2. We inform the entire Middle East this machine is how the Great Satan derives its power. (Which if they’re reading, is true along with a warm infidel-y center. Allahu Akbar.) I’m cool either way. Back on Monday. [...]
Happy Holidays!
Alright, folks, it’s been a magical week of pulling posts out of my ass, but alas, all good things must come to an end. So with that, I leave you with an entire gallery of Katy Perry’s holiday-themed decolletage which I’ve been saving for just this occasion. And also because I might’ve gone a [...]
Happy 4th, Everybody!
Alright, folks, I’m cutting out for the weekend and won’t be back until Tuesday, so please enjoy this magical slice of patriotism in my stead. In the meantime, don’t forget to enter The Superficial Banner Girl Contest or comment on how retarded I am for not noticing this Katy Perry pic was missing a [...]
Happy Memorial Day! Love, Wonk-Boobs
Now that I’ve loaded up the site with varying amounts of intentional and unintentional sexy, I bid you adieu, o ye, readers of my dick jokes. But as a parting gift, here’s three miles of tit canyon courtesy of… …read full story View full post on The Superficial – Because You’re Ugly
Happy Birthday, Olivia Wilde!
One of the most talented young actress on the planet celebrates a birthday today. No, not Kristen Stewart. No, definitely not Miley Cyrus. We’re talking about Olivia Wilde. Because the actress poses for so many sexy photo shoots, and because her character doesn’t exacty utter the wittiest or most interesting House quotes, Wilde is often [...]